1. Home
2. Opinion

Sweaty fitting rooms..!

By Robert Clements. Dated: 6/16/2018 10:21:37 AM

With brick and mortar shopping giant Walmart buying online shopping corporate, Flipcart for 6 billion dollars, one can well envision that online shopping will blaze new trails, “Soon,” said my very informative young IT friend, “You’ll press enter and be virtually taken into a spacious online store with shelves and samples and salesgirls!”
“Wow!” I said, “All this while actually sitting on my old rocking chair?”
“Yes!” smiled my very informative friend. “In fact I can give you a preview of what’s in store for us!”
“My young friend opened his laptop to an online shopping website. “Press Enter!” he said.
“Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked anxiously.
“Enjoy the experience alone!” he smiled and I pressed the Enter key to suddenly find myself in a strange place. “May I help you?” asked a strangely dressed car salesman as he led me to a range of cars. “Old models!” I said.
“These are the latest!” he said, “This is the Model T Ford, in fact Mr Henry Ford himself will personally drive you through the streets of Detroit!”
“Detroit!” I shouted, “How did I land in Detroit and why are you wearing such old fashioned clothes?”
“Sir, this here is the latest 1920 suit!” said the car salesman proudly, “Though it’s your attire which is strange to say the least! Mr Ford did tell us that while selling this cheap car, we were bound to get all sorts of village bumpkins strolling into our showroom!”
“Village bumpkin?” I shouted rushing at the salesman.
“Hey! Hey!” said the voice of my IT friend, “What happened?”
“You gave me a 1920 shopping experience!” I shouted, “And the salesman called me a village bumpkin!”
“I guess I haven’t got the dates finetuned in my software!” mumbled my friend. “Now let’s see, where would you like to go?”
“Walmart!” I said, and in a jiffy, I was in Albany, New York in the largest store in the world, “I’d like to meet Sam Walton, your owner!” I told a salesgirl
“Hi Bob!” I heard a voice and was bowled over by the simplicity of the billionaire owner, “Mr Walton!” I said, “Please don’t sell off your stores, I want to continue shopping the old-fashioned way! You know, touch the fabric, smell the book, try out my clothes!”
“I know!” said Mr Walton, “But you’ve got to move with the times. Come let me virtually take you through my store!”
“I don’t want to virtually go anywhere!” I screamed and found my young IT friend touching me reassuringly on my shoulder, “I met Sam Walton,” I cried.
“But Walton died in 1992!” said my friend.
“Oh my god I met a ghost!” I said and stumbled out to the local store and hugged the shopkeeper who hugged me back, “Sir!” he whispered, “You don’t have to come here anymore, we have an online portal!”
“No!” I screamed and held onto real books and clothes and sniffed the welcome air of sweaty fitting rooms for the last time..!
bobsbanter@gmail.com