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Opinion
On Hold..!
By Robert Clements
"Thank you for being with us, we appreciate your calling, and will be with you shortly, thank you for calling we appreciate your calling and will be with you shortly, thank you for calling we appreciate you.." repeated my friend as I visited him in the hospital.

"Whoa, whoa, what's happened to him? I asked his wife.

"He was put on hold when he tried to settle his mobile bill and the automated voice kept him there through the day," said his wife woefully.

"He did the day before after being kept two hours on hold, but yesterday he was determined to get through."

"Did he?" I asked.

"I don't know," said his wife wearily. "He's got his phone pressed to his ear. They can't prise it off his hand," said his wife.

"Thank you for being with us, we appreciate your calling, and will be with you shortly." Said my friend.

"Has he eaten?" I asked.

"Hasn't touched a morsel," said the wife, "wants to be ready to speak once the customer care attendant comes on line."

"Customer care?" I asked.

"Yes, that's what he's being trying."

"What kind of a customer care is this that puts a customer on hold for so long?" I asked. "Are there any other symptoms he has?"

"He also hums and sings a tune," said his wife.

"That's the tune they play when they put you on hold," I said as I listened to my friend humming.

"It's terrible," sobbed his wife.

"What?" I asked.

"His singing," said his wife. "He could never pitch and he sings through his nose."

"Don't listen," I said and then found myself singing in the same lifeless way my friend was doing.

"Even the nurses have started doing that," she sobbed, "it's contagious."

"Operator, operator!" shouted my friend suddenly from his bed.

"He's got through!" shouted his wife, "He's got through."

"No..!" shouted my friend and frantically though feebly dialed again.

"What's happening?" I asked his wife as the doctor rushed in.

"He had been kept on hold by the wrong mobile company, how he's trying the other one."

"You are in queue, please wait! You are in queue please wait! You are in queue…!" said my friend listlessly from the hospital bed.

"What!" shouted my wife as I lay asleep that night.

"What happened?" I asked, jumping up.

"I just asked you if you love me and you murmured, "Your are in queue please wait! What are you up to, you rascal?"

"It is contagious..!" I murmured to myself and cursed mobile phone companies who put people on hold.

bobsbanter@gmail.com


News Updated at : Saturday, January 6, 2018
 
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