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Opinion
Handling Criticism..!
By Robert Clements
I was sitting with the treasurer of an organization I am the chairman of, when he turned to me angrily and criticized something I had passed at the last AGM. I listened to him, felt hurt by the accusation, then decided to brush it aside:

I've noticed that when a person comments on or about you in a way you don't like. you try to be kind or smile; after all, you think you know the importance of not judging or hurting others.

Generally speaking, when you feel hurt by other peoples' insults it is because some part of you believes the insult to be true. What happens when we try to believe something we don't actually believe is this: Our inner self steps in and reminds us of what we should feel. The Inner Self takes us away from the direct experience of feeling hurt and insulted. It says you "should" feel at peace.

But no true peace actually comes. The only way to move past the hurt is to experience the feeling of being hurt. To actually acknowledge and own the feeling -without- necessarily having it consume you. To simply acknowledge, "I feel hurt" without judgment of yourself nor of the other person.

It's not bad to feel hurt. It's not good to feel hurt either. The other person is not bad for insulting you. Nor is the other person good for insulting you. The insult simply is what it is, and the hurt you feel is hurt. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I know this is easier said than done. Our first instinct is to react. We want to feel we are right. And we may express this outwardly in an attempt to prove we are right. This is our ego and Inner self's way of deflecting our pain onto others so we don't have to feel the hurt.

It takes some courage and strength and practice: Most of all though, it takes a willingness to try something new that contradicts what the mind naturally wants to do.

When you accept criticism and feel it fully, you allow yourself to move through the feeling and find greater peace. This is because there's no reaction within you.

Merely an acceptance of what the moment is presenting to you.

After I realized this that evening, I felt initially the pain of hurt, of betrayal, of wanting to hit out. But even as I went through it, I knew it would go away and I would move out of the hurt feeling, and get better.

That's exactly what's happened, and the criticism I received is not an insult; it is merely criticism, that's all.

Handling criticism is sure worth it, so we can move on, and not get bogged down..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com


News Updated at : Monday, February 11, 2013
 
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