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Opinion
The art of begging..!
By Robert Clements
Most of us think the west is meant for us to beg from.

"You must be joking," I said looking at the bald, long bearded unkempt professor who was sitting along with me in a college library, "how can the university, sanction funds to start a College for Begging?"

"We have to move with the times," said the professor scratching his beard vigorously, "now students should be taught courses which will enable them to earn a good living."

"But begging!" I exclaimed, "How could we stoop so low?"

"Begging is an art," continued the professor, "which if learnt well can make our students millionaires. In fact our idea is to have a basic diploma course, a degree course and also a post graduate one!"

"I didn't know there was so much to study about in begging," I whispered.

"In the basic course," said the professor opening a brochure on the same subject, "we will teach street begging, door to door begging with practical training on professional limping and the use of casts and bandages."

"What more is there to learn?" I asked impressed, "I don't think there'll be anything left to teach in the degree course."

"Plenty," said the professor pressing his stubby fingers on his bald head. "Degree holders will get special voice training, and also training in the use of facial expressions."

"Voice training and facial expressions," I said thoughtfully, "sounds more like an acting course to me."

"Exactly," said the professor," a good beggar is an excellent actor. His face should invoke enough pity to make people part with their cash and his voice should be so well modulated that it should tug at their heart strings!"

"And do you think youngsters will enroll for this course?" I asked doubtfully.

"Our forms are already sold out," said the professor gleefully. "Parents are already willing to pay donations to enable their children to enroll."

"And what about your post graduation course?" I asked. "I can't imagine the beggar on the street being a post graduate though."

"No, no, no," said the professor, "this is not for the street beggar. This is to teach our people to beg on the international scene."

"But why should we beg abroad," I asked incredulously.

"Isn't that what we are already doing?" asked the professor sharply, "from our grants to our loans, be it Rotary or Lions with their matching grants, from their World Bank and the United Nations, we walk around with a hat in our hand. This course will only make us better at the art of begging."

"The art of begging," I whispered.

" Imagine what a rich nation our country is going to be..!" said the professor, hardly noticing I had left the room.

bobsbanter@gmail.com


News Updated at : Thursday, April 11, 2013
 
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